Having been a parent for quite some time now, I know exactly what I am doing…not at all. Because with each passing month something changes. You hit a new and unusual problem. Stages aren’t just for the little ones…IT NEVER CHANGES…STAGES…EVERY YEAR… UNTIL…THEY… MOVE OUT. Sorry if I’ve burst anyones bubble there. Anyway, these stages produce some of the best/worse experiences of our little lives.
Below is a list titled A Mother’s Dictionary and it just made me giggle, so I had to share. If you are a new parent, most of these will ring true and if you are a, not so new parent then you’ll remember them, and you can puff up your chest and polish off that great gold badge that they give us after we make it through toddlerdom and be proud of yourselves. God knows what is waiting for us all in the morning. Enjoy. (NOTE: Gold badge may or may not exist).
Source: Berkeley Parents Network.
A Mother's Dictionary ======================================= amnesia: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again. bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2AM, too. defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside. drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster. feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him. grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. look out!: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own. prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms. puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. show off: A child who is more talented than yours. sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything. temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children. top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. verbal: Able to whine in words weaker sex: The kind you have after the kids have worn you out. whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house. whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
Hope you enjoyed the Mother’s Dictionary. 🙂 Ruby. ♥
4 thoughts on “A Giggleworthy List From A Mother’s Dictionary:”
Oh this is really funny!!!
sounds familiar doesn’t it. 🙂